Forever Wicked: Wicked #4 Read online

  Haley looks up from taking off her shoes, her face flushed, her hair a dark curtain around her shoulders.

  The sight of her makes every piece of drama, every angry thought in my mind, fall away.

  She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Always has been. Always will be.

  “How was the fitting?” I ask.

  “Good, until I started thinking about how much energy goes into making sure a garment I’ll never wear again fits me to perfection.”

  Haley’s always been down to earth, but I marvel at it again. I brush a kiss over her mouth that ends with my lips dragging up her jaw.

  “It’ll be worth it. You hungry?” I murmur.

  “Not really, I…” She peers around me toward the kitchen. “Are those deep fried pickles?”

  “I don’t know how you smell those from here.”

  “Me either.” In the kitchen, Haley grabs one and bites into it as if she’s starving. “Oh, that’s good.”

  I watch her eat, feeling a primal satisfaction that despite the hectic day, I can provide this small thing for her.

  “How was your afternoon?” Haley munches.

  I can just make out my kid seated next to Tyler in the dining room. I watch as Annie grabs food off his plate.

  “Annie told me she crashed in the pool house last night. With Tyler.”

  Haley stops munching. “So?”

  I frown. “So, she shouldn’t be crashing with a boy. That platonic Dawson’s Creek shit isn’t real life.”

  “Dawson’s what?”

  “And even if it was, they ended up fucking eventually anyway.”

  Haley shakes her head. “I get that you’re concerned. But I’ve never seen anything to suggest they’re more than friends. We moved her to Dallas—”

  “Back to Dallas.”

  “And separated her from her friend she’s spent the last two summers with. It’s a big change. Maybe they just need time.”

  “This is her home,” I insist. “It’s not like she’s never been here before.”

  Haley looks past me. “That doesn’t mean it’s easy.”

  I debate telling her about the condoms but decide I don’t want to stress her more. “I don’t regret Annie, but sometimes? I think of how much simpler it was before.”

  Her lips freeze, parted. “But you want more kids.”

  If I’d thought today’s events had killed my desire for her, all it took were those words—more kids—to have me craving her again.

  It’s twisted—I’ll own that. I don’t care. I want to get her pregnant. I want to see her pregnant. I want to know we’ve not only sworn ourselves to each other in front of our families, but God and the universe, by creating new life.

  But after we’ve had time together first. Uninterrupted.

  “I have a long list of things to do. Like relax. Enjoy this house. My new wife.” I tug her between my legs, dropping a kiss on one of her temples, then the other, as if I can make the worry lines disappear.

  But her expression doesn’t warm like I’d hoped.

  “I think I’m going to take a nap.”

  I search her face for signs of strain. “Tell me you’re not getting sick.”

  “Just tired. I was up late working last night.”

  “I’ll get away after dinner,” I say at last. “We can rest up together.” My tone makes it clear the last thing on my mind is resting, but her half smile has my brows rising. “You’re going to dent my ego.”

  That earns me an eye roll that makes me grin. “Your ego has a decade of screaming, stripping women with ‘Marry me, Jax’ signs to bolster it.”

  “Mmm. But you’re the only one who’d actually go through with it.”

  This time I get a full smile, and the tension in my gut eases.

  “Did I hear Wes’s voice on my way in? I should say hello.”

  “Hales. Go take a nap.” I drop kisses around her face, ending with her lips. “And think of Bali.”

  “Bali,” she repeats softly.

  When I return to the kitchen after walking Haley to the foot of the stairs, someone’s waiting for me.

  Nina taps her phone against her hip as she leans over the island, lost in thought. She straightens the moment I enter. “We need to talk.”

  “What’s going on?” Mace asks from the doorway.

  “My office.” They follow me down the hall, and I shut the door.

  “You know what I said earlier about scorned people coming out of the woodwork for weddings?” she starts. “Something arrived in the mail from your ex.”

  Mace snorts, but I’m the one to answer. “I don’t have an ex, Neen.”

  “The name Fiona doesn’t ring a bell?”

  Mace’s eyes round on mine, and we say at the same time, “Fucking hell.”

  Every muscle in me goes taut.

  “Show me,” I command.

  Nina produces a card with a New York return address. I break the seal and yank the card out of the envelope.

  Congratulations on your wedding. - Fiona

  “That’s it? No other note?” I ask.

  “Nothing.”

  “Ignore it,” Mace insists. “It’s a card.”

  “I haven’t seen the woman in fifteen years. Not since—”

  “Since she signed away the rights to her kid?” he says under his breath.

  I haven’t heard shit from Annie’s biological mother in over a decade, which is exactly the way it was meant to be.

  “Jax,” Nina weighs in, “you and Haley have gotten thousands of cards. This is probably just one more.”

  She could be right, but I’ve lived my life assuming everything is a threat.

  It’s served me well.

  Kept my family safe.

  I reach for my phone.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, alarmed.

  “Taking care of it.”

  5

  Haley

  Four days until the wedding

  I haven’t been to a lot of weddings, but I’ve always thought the vows were both restrictive and unromantic.

  Good times and bad. Sickness and health.

  A laundry list of “should do” items.

  But now that Jax and I are sitting across the desk from the minister at the church Jax attended as a child, it occurs to me they’re not restrictive at all.

  They’re vague.

  Nothing in the vows tells you how to love another person. What to say to them when you can’t quite meet their eyes, when the questions spinning in your head can’t be spoken aloud because you’re afraid of the answers.

  I’d planned to tell Jax about the baby last night, but after what he said about Annie, I couldn’t form the words. I stayed up reading in bed for an hour, but he didn’t come up.

  Then this morning, I stared at his handsome face while he slept. I was tempted to shift over him, drop kisses along his neck, traveling down his bare chest and further.

  But I thought of the secret I’m keeping and felt guilty.

  “What do you think, Haley?”

  The minister’s voice snaps me back to the church, and I silently berate myself for not paying closer attention.

  “Ah. That sounds fine.”

  “‘Love, cherish, and obey’ sounds fine?” Jax raises a brow. “Lying to God on our wedding day seems like bad luck.”

  I shift forward, lifting the pages from the minister’s hands and scanning them. “You’re right. Is there something more contemporary? Especially given this says nothing about Jax obeying me.”

  The minister shifts in his seat. “It is permissible to omit the word ‘obey,’ if you prefer.”

  “I think that would be best.”

  My fiancé coughs next to me, but the minister only nods. “Then that’s all for today. We’ll do the ceremony rehearsal with the wedding party tomorrow.”

  The minister shifts out of his chair, shaking Jax’s hand and mine. Jax and I go to leave, Jax holding the door that leads to the main area of the church.<
br />
  “What’s on the agenda for this debaucherous bachelorette party tonight?” he asks.

  Given the other weight on my mind, I hadn’t given it a thought all day. “Serena said it’s a surprise.”

  “Mace said the same. Been trying to beat it out of him for weeks. The guy’s like a locked trunk.”

  I take in the beautiful church, the pews carved from some rich wood. I run a hand down the back of one as we pass it. “I have a hard time picturing you attending church.”

  “We did for a while. Not my dad. My mom and Grace.”

  “Before your mom’s struggles with drugs?”

  His amber eyes glint as his hair falls across his face. “And after. I think she wanted to make amends. Wanted to know that someone would forgive her.”

  I can relate to the desire to have someone look down on you and give permission. To approve on some level, if only to bring peace and certainty to the decisions it feels impossible to be certain about.

  His face is surprisingly open as he peers at the rafters of the church, the stained window filtering light that spills crimson and gold and emerald into the chapel.

  “I remember not wanting to come. Then once I was on the road, I missed it. Church felt like something normal people went to. People who didn’t have to scrape themselves out of bed to be on the road at nine after a late stadium gig the night before.”

  I take in my future husband. His shirt’s a button-down, covering up the tattoos on his arms. He’s wearing jeans because no one’s going to tell him not to, but despite the casual clothes, his body’s tight underneath. From his tense expression, it occurs to me I’m not the only one in my head today.

  His phone rings, splitting the beautiful silence, and he glances down. “I gotta get this.” He strokes a thumb over my jaw, and I find a smile before he walks away.

  I drop onto a pew, and by the time my butt hits the hard wood, my own phone rings.

  “Haley,” Nina says. “There’s been some bad news. Jerry refused to get on the plane. I know he’s never been a big fan of flying, but when we toured, he always used to suck it up when we had no other option. I was so sure we’d make it work this time, too.” My body feels heavy even before she finishes. “Which means—”

  “He won’t make it,” I say softly. I press a hand over my chest.

  “We can find someone else to walk you down the aisle. It’s not going to be a problem.”

  She tackles it like any challenge on tour, but when we hang up, my brain is numb. I lean back in the pew, the back digging into my shoulder blades. The man who’s been like a father to me the past few years won’t be coming.

  This wouldn’t have happened if we’d stayed in Philly.

  I push down the thought. I agreed to the move. It was a decision Jax and I came to together.

  He’s been wanting to live here for years. His sister’s here, as well as the house he bought after finishing his final tour, the one we’ve already been living in eight months of the year. It was a natural next step.

  Still, Philly is where I grew up with my own mom. Where I went to elementary school, high school, college. It’s where my father lived, where he built his business.

  None of that was a real reason to stay. I’m not willing to trade Jax’s future—our future—for my past.

  I swipe at my eyes, which I hadn’t realized were burning, and shift out of my seat, checking my email as I head down the empty row on autopilot.

  Together with my business partner, I’ve built and sold four apps since college. Even though Jax has enough money to last us both a hundred lifetimes, work has been my challenge, my comfort, and my independence.

  Six months ago, we got major publicity when one of our apps won a huge tech competition. Since then, there’ve been a number of new opportunities, but nothing next level.

  That’s why I pull up when I reach the aisle.

  There’s a new message from a client we’ve always wanted but never spoken to. One that would be a game changer.

  I hit a number on my phone as a lone woman heads for the front of the chapel to light a candle. I turn my back toward the altar while the phone rings.

  “Carter,” I murmur when my business partner answers.

  “Where are you, the library?”

  “Church. I sent you an email. A major software company wants to work with us.” I fill him in on the details. “They need proposals this week. I need you to put one in.”

  “No can do.”

  My jaw drops. “Come on.”

  “I do have a social life. In addition to traveling for your wedding. As much as I adore you, I can’t drop everything at your request.”

  The arrogant edge works into his voice, the part that makes me regret ever sleeping with this guy—even when I had a mountain of evidence that I’d never see Jax again.

  I curse. “Please? I did the last proposal while you were on vacation.”

  “Yeah, but you got to pick it. I get to pick the next one. Besides, I’m flying to Dallas tomorrow to see a few friends before the wedding.”

  “Carter, we can’t pass up this opportunity.” Desperation grasps at my insides. “Just think about it and get back to me.”

  As I hang up, Jax asks, “What was that about?”

  I spin so fast I nearly trip over my own feet on the scarlet carpet as I take in my fiancé approaching. “A new client reached out.”

  Jax stops inches away, his gaze working over my face. “You spent the last month in Philly working. That must’ve earned you enough time off for your wedding.”

  Jax and I don’t fight, but it’s because I don’t fight, not because he won’t. Now though, I can’t quite keep the edge out of my tone.

  “Is that a suggestion? We did take out the ‘obey’ part.”

  “Everything all right?” the minister asks, and we both turn.

  “Perfect, Father.” Jax smiles tightly.

  I turn and start down the aisle toward the doors. Jax falls into step with me.

  I fill him in on the news about Jerry, and Jax curses. “I’m sorry, Hales. I know you wanted him to walk you down the aisle.”

  “It’s fine. I’d rather he be at home where he’s comfortable.” I pause at the doors of the church and reach for his arm. “Hey, you want to take a drive before we go back to the house?”

  “I have a meeting with the lawyer.” He checks his watch before meeting my gaze. “But I can move it back.”

  I consider the offer as I stare up into his handsome, caring face. The man who’s had my back, been my partner. The one I open up to like no one else.

  I want nothing more than some time alone with Jax to let everything go…

  But I can handle this.

  I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk tonight after Mace and Serena bring us home.”

  Jax bends down to claim my lips in a soft kiss that leaves tingles in its wake. Then he lifts a brow, a smirk on his handsome face. “If they bring us home.”

  6

  “Tell me that’s not what I think it is.”

  I stare out the window of the limo as Mace, Brick, Kyle, Wes, and I pull up outside a dark building. The black sign has white neon lettering that says “Insiders.”

  Kyle grins. “It’s exactly what you think it is.”

  “We’re not going to a strip club.”

  “It’s not just a strip club. It’s the highest-end joint in Dallas.”

  Mace shifts forward, gesturing with a half-empty bottle of bourbon. “Come on, Jax. We came here once, remember? You turned twenty-one, and we had time off from tour.”

  “We dropped more money than I’d ever seen in one night,” Kyle adds.

  “We rented out the VIP room,” Brick presses.

  “And the booze is waiting inside,” Mace reasons.

  The fond way three sets of eyes have glazed over says this is their idea of a thoughtful gift.

  I turn it over as I meet Wes’s gaze.

  I had one drink in the car, but after
the day I’ve had, I’m looking to unwind.

  When we got to the church this morning, I was feeling like shit about the shadows under Haley’s eyes, the worry in her voice, the fact that by the time I got up to bed last night, she was fast asleep.

  After dealing with Nina’s revelation, I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in my fiancée’s sweetness, to drown my frustrations in her moans and use every part of me to make her fall apart. But I’d have been a selfish prick to wake her for sex.

  Still, when she got off the phone in the middle of the church where we’re going to be married, it reminded me the reason she’s been so tired is that she’s insisting on working the week of our wedding. I know logically she’s doing her job, but she’s also the boss.

  I was the boss on tour, but that was different. The dates were set in stone, sometimes years in advance.

  Companies count on Haley to deliver them intelligent apps, but she gets to pick when she works and doesn’t. If she wants to take time off, she can do it.

  I’ve been trying to make everything perfect, and it’s almost as if it’s just another week for her.

  The discontent lingered when I dropped her off and went to meet with my lawyer, who told me I was being suspicious about the card from Annie’s biological mother.

  He also assured me he’d look into it.

  Because he knows the details of how it went down fifteen years ago and the NDA that was put in place to protect everyone involved. Just like he knows I can’t afford to let it get out in the open.

  “I finally have everything I want,” I reminded him before leaving. “But it all goes up in smoke if I can’t keep it.”

  “Jax.” Mace’s voice jerks me back to the car. “What do you wanna do here?”

  Yeah, I need to unwind. But without naked chicks who don’t have my ring on their finger.

  I rub a hand over my jaw, which I forgot to shave this morning. “Tell you what—we’ll grab the booze, then go somewhere else. Tell the driver to keep the car running.”

  I get out, sparing a glance for the lot filled with high-end cars, and the guys follow me to the back door.

  “The place looks different,” I note.

  A woman in a black suit appears from inside, holding the door for us with a broad smile. “Gentlemen. We’re so glad you’ve arrived.”